Carolyn Shadle from www.veterinarycommunication.com is the guest contributor today writing about an essential skill in practice.

“Care, respect and empathy. “  Those are the words on a bookmark being distributed at California State University San Marcos as part of its civility initiative.

I thought that those behaviors were taught at home, but it seems that colleges and workplaces are finding it useful to remind adults – young and old – that care, respect and empathy are difficult skills to master and maintain and need constant attention.

Let just look at empathy.  Merriam-Webster defines empathy as “the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.”

That’s not easy – especially the “vicarious experience.”  I think of it as stepping into the shoes of the other person and feeling, for a moment, how he or she is feeling.  It means that I must suspend my own feelings and feel the other person’s experience.

Veterinarian Jeff’s colleague said, “I feel awful.  Mrs. Simon’s dog died.  I’ve been treating him for the last three months and thought we were on the upward climb.  I’m so disappointed.  Mrs. Simon is sad beyond measure.”

Jeff said, “Yes.  Well, that goes with the territory.  You can’t work in the veterinary business without being surrounded by sickness and death.”

Jeff is right, of course, but he missed an opportunity to empathize first.  He had all the time in the world to state his truism – if, indeed, it was necessary.  But this is the time to show his colleague “care, respect and empathy.”  This is the time to put aside his thoughts, experiences and wisdom about the business and focus on his colleague’s feelings of disappointment.

Let your colleague express his feelings and maybe vent a bit.  Feelings expressed are easier to deal with than those ignored.  Let him have his say, and he’ll move on.

The skill to show empathy is a valuable one, worth mastering.

Read more on our blogs (www.VeterinarianCommunication.com) or pick up tips that will help you be more empathetic in Communication Case Studies: Building Interpersonal Skills in the Veterinary Practice (available on our website, from AAHA or Amazon.com)

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